hermit hiding

She could feel
and knew intimately
his aloneness
a self banished hermit
seeking forest refuge and silence
from his own mind filled
with exceeding intellect,
genius even.

A virtuoso of doctrine but
his inner terrain devoid of what
his sanctified texts point to.
the cosplay of religious titled escapism
spiritual bypassing.

The hope of the promise of transcendent absolution
yet blind to the momentum of such
unresolved darkness underneath,
renders his quest impossible.
He hoped to spend this life sheltered
his rawness blanket wrapped under false colored cloth.

But she could see through it
tortured soul ever so edging
on dormant suicidalness
given up long ago.
He longed for non-existence
so clear the trauma
how many hurt him so deeply, and how
in how many ways~
what force drives men to retreat?

He dare never reveal
bitter narcissism posing
as healthy simplicity
and she knows
she could remedy it with her warmth

For she knows his pain, entrained,
a perfect synergistic resonance
a futile effort now for 10 years transferred
but she asked him,
pleading, repeatedly…
Do the electric screens of faux love
flickering light faces,
soundbites of ego’s confirmed fulfillment
and the endless concepts of tantric wordsmithing
suffice as a life partner
still never fulfilled
a joyless flat affect.

Her driven quest to love
whispers of masochism
met only with retaliatory disdain,
and with her last breath
she will still hope for his

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